Chronic Singleton

2008-04-10T14:24:00.002-04:00

Is the Grass Always Greener?

So, I once used to look enviously upon "happy" couples, and married people and think it must be nice to "have somebody." Now as part of one of those "happy" couples all I can really say is that I miss the independence and simplicity of my single life. Yes, in some ways my life now is less complex for example I know what I am going on Friday/Saturday nights and with whom but in almost every other way coupledom is much more complicated.

For example, the simple act of buying and installing a ceiling fan. Before I would have gone to the store looked at the fans and picked one out I liked. The main problem would have been how to install it since as a single woman I have neither the arm strength nor the ladder required to put it up. But more than likely I would have called my sister or one of my friends and we would have put it up. More recently, a ceiling fan purchase for two rooms took a lot of negotiation on which fan matches, if it was too girly, how low to hang it, and what size fan was appropriate for the room. Then came the long process of installation in which I was talked to like someone who had never fixed or assembled something herself and ended with a big argument over if I had properly balanced the ceiling fan. I realize how silly this all sounds but it really does make me long for the good old days in which I was the sole dictator of what happened in my life. . . consensus can sometimes be painful and over-rated.

Now, there are also advantages. . .someone to take care of you when you are sick, to cook dinner when you are too tired. . .ect. Anyways it is much easier to see the pluses and minuses once you have been on both sides.

2008-04-03T20:52:00.002-04:00

Long Absence. . .ENDS

So it has been quite a while since I had the mental/physical energy to blog. I have gone through so many changes in the last year of my life that I think I needed time to process the new person I am slowly becoming before I told the whole world about it. I guess maybe this change comes with age. . .since I am now in my thirties (yes, I know I am not old but I can slowly feel myself settling down a bit).

One major change in my life since last year has been my boyfriends move to Vegas and into my house. It is amazing how different a relationship becomes at close proximity. I have had relationships before where I practically lived with someone but not ones where I literally spent night and day with someone. It can sometimes be very tiring and difficult but I am beginning to think it is worth it. I only wish that he had friends here locally. . .then I would have a little more down time for me.

2007-04-18T11:10:00.000-04:00

What Kind of A Country Are We?

What sort of a people and political system in the face of incident after incident of violence and loss continues to engage the problem in the same way? I cannot comprehend how in the face of the latest tragedy many in the pro-gun community could think more guns are an answer to the problem. We have tried the solution of arming ourselves to the teeth. . .it is the outcome of loose gun laws and a culture that solves problems with guns that has caused this disease. The idea that some have that arming teachers and university staff is as absurd as treating alcoholism with extra doses of alcohol.

I like many others over the past few days am shocked and saddened by the awful events at Virginia Tech. I like many others can't believe the enormous tragedy that has befallen the faculty and students on the Virginia Tech campus. But what is even more unbelievable to me is the way in which the pro gun lobby has reacted. Rather than being reasonable and looking for a compromise. They are actually proposing additional guns as a solution to this problem.

Prior to this tragedy a bill existed in the Nevada legislature that would have made it legal for teachers to carry guns on campus. The bill was nonsense and was going nowhere before this disaster. The sponsor of the bill has used this terrible event to capitalize politically and has been on both TV and radio claiming that more guns on campus could have prevented or minimized the incident.

NEVER MIND that most faculty members are not the type to own or know how to properly use guns.
NEVER MIND that we are not should we have to be law enforcement in addition to being counselors, babysitters, administrators, and the myriad of other jobs we are expected to do that have nothing to do with increasing knowledge.
NEVER MIND that guns in homes are more likely to result in accidentally shooting one of your own loved ones than an intruder.
NEVER MIND that faculty are people too and they too might have serious mental or emotional issues that could result in a similar tragedy.

Yeah. . .lets just all go get guns . . .I am sure I will feel much safer that the slightly senile professor who has the office down the hall from me is armed to the teeth.

2007-04-16T01:21:00.000-04:00

Spring Cleaning and Shape-Up

So I have finally decided to shake off what ever funk I have been suffering from for the last couple of months. I actually didn't realize what a funk I had been in until I was in Italy on the trip of a lifetime and even then not over joyed. It wasn't so much that I have been sad lately just sort of sleep walking through my life. It doesn't make sense but we don't always get to pick how we feel. But I am done with all that now . . .I am finally awake and finally feeling myself and it is no longer the time to mope.

After all I finally have the job I have wanted for years, a great boyfriend, a nice place to live and generally other than just being a little too busy nothing to complain about.

Today, I woke up with a sense of purpose and drive I haven't felt in months. I really feel like spring is here and it is time to start fresh. I cleaned out my files, went for a run, cleaned house, and just enjoyed feeling like I was getting things long over due done.

2007-03-26T15:05:00.000-04:00

Recovering from Roma

So I have finally returned home a few days later than scheduled thanks to US Airways and much, much more tired than I could have imagined. After almost a week, I feel like I am nursing a case of permanent jet lag.

Rome can be best summed up as a beautiful mess. It is over crowded, graffiti covered, noisy, dirty, and chaotic but it is unexpected, beautiful, awe inspiring, and unbelievably welcoming. The people although completely over whelmed with crowds and rude tourists for the most part are kind and gracious. They want to help and they want you to love their city as much as they do. They want you to enjoy the food and the wine. They want you to see and understand the rich culture and heritage.

But nothing runs on time. . .I got pick pocketed (nothing serious just a few items that didn't mean anything), and a very serious case of blistered feet. All and all I am happy I went. . .and I wish I had more time and energy to take it all in. I am both happy to be home and wishing it all wasn't so far away and so different from where I live.

Above is a collage of just a few of the hundreds of pictures took.

2007-03-06T17:09:00.000-05:00

Chronic Singleton Goes International

No, I haven't suddenly signed some book deal or decided to move over seas. I am just taking a long needed vacation next week in the Eternal City of Rome. I am so excited not only because I have always wanted to go to Rome and that I love Europe but also it is the first time I have traveled internationally solo. My two previous trips were either with school or friends. I am so excited about setting my own priorities and schedule and not worrying about what anyone else wants to do.

I plan to take in many of the major sights but also to just simply wander around and enjoy meeting new people and experiencing new things. I can't wait to go and I can't wait to come back home and blog about it.

2007-02-20T17:34:00.000-05:00

Falling Actually and Metaphorically

So I will admit it I finally fell pray to the charm and hype of Valentine's Day. I know my last post simply pouted about the need to conform to a specific day on which romance is prescribed and not spontaneous but sometimes things happen when you least expect it. My dear Valentine. . . keeps continually surprising me by his ability to overcome my worst moods, fears, and cynicism with patience and a sense of humor.

Despite a fairly disastrous actual Valentine's Day celebration where he still fairly new to my life cooked me a surprise dinner full of things I don't usually eat and wasn't particularly excited about, I think it is safe to say I am falling under his spell. He misses some of the details (like the fact that I don't eat pork) but always gets the main idea and takes difficulty with a great deal more grace than anyone I have ever met when wrong.

All this can be illustrated with my very first day of skiing ever. My Valentine's present from him was a day of skiing at a near by ski resort this past weekend. All those of you that know me in real life, know that I am not the most graceful person ever in fact I fall much closer to the other end of the spectrum. While somewhat athletic, I have struggled lately with bad knees and frustrations with my own physical limitations so I was more than a little worried about skiing.

The first run down the hill proved as disastrous as had feared with somewhere around a dozen crashes before making it to the bottom of the bunny slope. Granted some of these falls were intentional to avoid hitting the innocent children also learning to ski for the first time. He stayed with me the whole time and kept his cool despite me jokingly accusing him of "trying to kill me." By the fifth or sixth run down the hill, I was actually having a lot of fun. My "coach" kept telling me how great I was doing and never once lost his cool. By the end of the day my fear had faded and I knew how great it was to be supported by someone who really wanted me to succeed. He pushed me to keep going when I wanted to quit but without bullying me.

This guy . . .hmmm . . . how do I put this. . .is more than I expected and maybe just what I need.

2007-02-14T17:13:00.000-05:00

St. Valentine's Day BLAHs

So it is that time of year again. . .yet another Valentine's Day. I don't really know what it is but I just can't seem to get into the spirit. All week this week I have woken up more tired than when I went to sleep and have barely been able to drag myself through an entire day. SO tonight I am supposed to all the sudden put on a big sappy grin and act romantic. . .just because the calendar says it is Valentine's Day. I'm sorry but it just ain't happening.

After two cups of coffee (which for me is usually enough to put me into orbit) and more sugar than is medically advisable I still don't have the energy. I just feel like wearing black and letting my own personal little rain cloud follow me around. . .I know I will put on a happy face if for no other reason than show but I really, really, really don't feel like it. I can't help but ask myself, Is this symptomatic of a lack of excitement for my boyfriend or simply just bad timing for a down energy week? I think it is simply the latter but all I know what I really want right now is a nap.

2007-02-10T12:27:00.000-05:00

Baby Love

So on February 1st, I became an aunt again for the second time. My new nephew's name is Ryan and he has tons of dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He looks a little like my sister and a little like my brother in law.

I was again completely bowled over by how great it just felt to hold him while he slept. Apparently, I make a good nap place because he slept completely soundly for three hours which according to my sister was one of the longest uninterrupted periods of sleep in his very short life.

2007-02-02T14:14:00.000-05:00

A Very Vegas Weekend

So like most locals I usually stay away from the "Strip" during my daily life in Vegas but when guests come to town you just "have" to go down there. This last weekend several of my East Coast friends were in town for a conference and two of them decided to renew their wedding vows after two and a half years of marriage in the Graceland Wedding Chapel (http://www.gracelandchapel.com/index.html). The very same chapel where Bon Jovi himself got married. Clearly, this was to be the social event of the season.

It was by far the silliest most fun wedding I have ever been to. The young Elvis decked out in his finest gold jacket walked the bride down the aisle singing Love Me Tender. Then preformed vows in which the bride had to promise to never step on the groom's Blue Suede Shoes and then serenaded the couple with All Shook Up mid vow renewal. The wedding processional was then led by Elvis singing A Little Less Conversation A Little More Action.

2007-01-24T13:05:00.000-05:00

Just Buy a F****** Couch!

NPR has this great weekly radio show called This American Life that every week covers a different topic and it has become something of an obsession of mine. It just so happens this week the show seems particularly topical since the same debate also seems to have been entered into by Jen Schefft of both the Bachelor and Bachelorette fame.

Basically, the story on This American Life focuses on a confirmed bachelor who after over 18 years of searching for the perfect couch has yet to commit. This couch has become somewhat of a methaphor for the rest of this guy's life with his refusal to settle becoming somewhat of a centerpiece.

It has annoyed his friends, family, and a string of girlfriends. One angry fight between this very discerning gentleman and a girlfriend ended with her telling him to "just buy a F****** couch!" He like many picky people is often urged just to settle but he persists in his quest for the perfect couch. This modern Don Quixote continues to tilt at windmills. He asks himself "Do I hold out for one that really knocks me out or do I just settle for something that I can live with or really doesn't know me out?" It has become the thing that causes him more concern and dismay than anything in his life. It is his quest.

Jen Scheff also is coming out on the side of being picky with her new book, Better Single than Sorry. (No, I haven't read it but if some kind publisher is willing to send me a copy I might.) She basically makes the point that it is better to understand what you can and can't live with than to accept less than what you want. I understand this really well. You head tells you that someone is really nice and stable and will make a good husband. You know that they will try to make you happy but you know in your gut it just isn't your ideal.

Jen Scheff has been somewhat demonized by single men who saw her as unable to be satisfied. She had and left the "Bachelor" after having beaten out a gaggle of other single, beautiful, and determined women. She then went on to have a gaggle of single, handsome, and determined men compete over her only to reject them all. While, I would never allow myself to get into the situations that she found herself in. . .I really do feel for her since among my friends and family as an overly picky perfectionist.

These two very different stories are emblematic of one side of a debate that now rages between me and many of my single friends. Do we settle for something less than perfect or do we just simply get on with it? Do we seek perfection or do we settle for good rather than great? Part of everyone wants both. We want the perfection but we also want the resolution. It is just a matter of if you can live with OK or will you, like many people, think you can settle and ultimately end up unhappy? If you could be certain that OK would be enough then we would go ahead and buy the couch but that little bit of doubt has us still shopping.

2007-01-17T23:07:00.000-05:00

The Beauty of Vegas Away From The Strip

2007-01-15T11:51:00.000-05:00

Passages and Growing Older

So it is January and again I find myself at a turning point of a new year. I've noticed as I have gotten older that New Years hold both more promises and more threats. The promises are those of a career finally taking off and the hope that maybe this year I will get my act together personally as well as professionally. The threats seem to all be related to family and the frailty of those we love.

As a child, my grandparents were always relatively healthy and active. As I have reached adulthood, I have seen my grandparents pass from active to frail and have seen the passing of two grandmothers in two years. My grandmother last year passed away in a car accident taken like anyone could be taken in an instant and without warning. A few days after Christmas, my other grandmother passed away after a protracted fight with Parkinson's disease.

In recent years, she has been a reminder of both how strong someone can be in the face of illness and the type of endurance it takes to live with such things and how difficult the limitations of our own bodies are at times. As her body failed and became unreliable, she had to depend upon my aunt and her family to care for her. She essentially became trapped by a body she could no longer control even though her mind remained as strong and sharp as ever.

I am beginning to think one of the hallmarks of adulthood is simply having to let go of those that looked over you and beginning to look over those that come after you. My parents have also recently begun to more openly show the signs of age with more frequent health problems and complaints of aches and pains. They are no longer able to keep pace with me and my sister and do all of the things they want to do. Their struggles scare me and remind me to take care of myself now in order to make sure I limit my own frailty later in life.

There is also hope this year mixed with all this melancholy and sadness. I am absolutely in love with my nephew. His chubby soft round limbs and devilish laugh made it impossible for my family to dwell to long on the past. He made us smile through our tears and reminded us that letting go of a loved one is sometimes necessary to make room for those that come after. He at 7 months old already loves words and books. He loves to laugh and play. He takes joy in almost everything and fears nothing.

I also know that in a few short weeks, I will be falling in love all over again with the arrival of another niece or nephew here in Vegas. The promise of watching over them as they grow makes all the struggle and saddness of the last year easier to take.

There is also promise in my own life of a career that is finally underway, an apartment that is starting to look like a sane adult lives there, a boyfriend that cares for me and wants nothing more than to make me happy, and a wide world to explore.

2006-12-22T15:54:00.000-05:00

The Unlikeliest Hero

So, I sit here in my Vegas apartment. . .still in pajamas after lunch time. I guess I am enjoying the freedom of my new life and taking a day off every once in a while. Yesterday, I was faced with one of the scariest things that can happen to you as an adult. I was faced with the mortality of two people I love very much. My grandfather and my mother were both in the hospital on the same day. I found my self completely lost, unable to work, scared, angry, and very sad. I called the "Nice Guy" at work. He talked me down well enough so that I could put on a brave face and go into work to meet with a very troublesome character.

The "Nice Guy" didn't simply pat me on the head and try to get me off the phone like so many other would have done. He put aside what he was doing and actually took the time to listen to what was going on. Even more surprising that night when I called him to apologize about interrupting his work day. Instead of agreeing with me that it was best not to call at when he was at work, he insisted that he was happy to hear from me whenever and that I shouldn't hesitate to call if I needed to talk. While, I am not much for over the top assertions this one seemed to hit the right note at the right moment. I am glad that on such a bad day I had such a "Nice Guy" to talk me through it.

2006-12-18T15:39:00.000-05:00

There Comes A Time. . .

In every woman's life when we realize that that bad boy, no matter how appealing in the short run, will not be appealing in the long run. For me that time is now. I in the past have loved many a rogue. I affectionately call them my "project" men. This was not because they were always working on projects but because they very quickly became projects. Like the darling Victorian house that would be so cute if you only spend your entire life savings and every spare minute fixing it up (a la the money pit). The difference is at least with the house if you work hard enough and long enough you might break even.

As my mood of late has shifted from beautiful but completely impractical shoes to comfy and not so lovely shoes, my taste has also shifted from dangerous to safe men. Since moving to Vegas, I have been hit on by many rogues which the old me would have found completely irresistible. Somehow miraculously, I don't want them anymore or perhaps it is more accurate to say I don't want them enough to deal with the hangover after they are gone. I am still having a little bit of trouble being completely in love with the "safe, stable and mature" options but at least this seems to be a step in the right direction.

2006-11-12T03:59:00.000-05:00

Finally Ready to Let go of the Bad Boys

Something funny has happened to me since passing through the rather odd portal into my seeming adulthood . . .I am all the sudden mostly immune to scoundrels. I say mostly because if the right scoundrel came along I still might get weak at the knees and find myself hopelessly attracted.

Since moving to Vegas I have done very little dating. Very little especially for me who usually always has something, the beginning of something, or the remains of something going on relationship wise. I decided not that long after arriving here I was going to go through something like relationship detox. . .cold turkey and spend a little time simply figuring out what it was that I wanted.

My last major relationship played out a lot like the relationship in the movie Shopgirl where a much older man swept me off my feet and spoiled me rotten only to leave me feeling as if there were certain lines I couldn't cross, certain things I couldn't say and something I could never be for him. So in the end I made my choice and I walked away. Only to fall immediately into lust. . .with a scoundrel that promised much and delivered little and then just vanished. Then for a while I became the scoundrel. . . never quite all there and never quite sure why. . .I just couldn't be. . .it just wasn't right and never could be.

So for a little while I have sat in solitude reading books, watching movies, buying my own flowers and just thinking. . .Thinking about what I really wanted. I have come to realize scoundrels might be fun and may know all the right things to do but they will never be the guy that holds you hand when you're scared and picks you up off the floor when you can't do that for yourself. So I think my time for scoundrel men has passed. It is time to date nice guys. Men that basically fit the mold of my older sister's husband . . .they may not make other women swoon with envy but they will be there to hold your hand when you need it.

I will post more about said mystery "nice" guy, as far as I can tell in my next post.

2006-11-04T23:49:00.000-05:00

nihilism, the Movies and the Shallow World that is Las Vegas

I have now lived in Las Vegas for several months and it still a little bit like having wandered onto a movie set. But then again I think much of life is feels this way from time to time. The only difference is that in Las Vegas no one tries to get beyond this facade. It is so much more about the exterior here than what is inside. In Nevada this week we are awaiting preparing to vote for our next set of elected representatives and new laws to govern the state.

The races here have been nasty and seedy but that is almost par for the course anywhere. The most shocking thing is the ability of powerful and monied interests, aka the casinos, to influence the ballot options that have to do with even the most common sense items. The worst and most obvious example is the two initiatives put forth on smoking. The first one, question 4, is a facade much like the rest of Vegas. It pretends to change the law to eliminate smoking in some public areas but it actually doesn't do anything. It doesn't even remove smoking from grocery and convenience stores. The second initiative, Question 5, was put forth by the American Heart Association and the American Lund Association, is almost surely doomed but would actually enact desperately needed changes in Nevada. It would remove smoking from restaurants, grocery stores, and any other public space that wasn't a gaming area. However, it will loose because those pushing the fake anti-smoking initiative have claimed it is bad for business. . .Heaven forbid that we should loose money just to prevent a little cancer, suffering and death.

Sorry guys just not feeling my usually funny single self these days. . .But I promise the next blog will be about flirting or kissing the wrong man. . .just needed to vent a little tonight.

2006-10-12T02:28:00.000-04:00

Why Single Girls Love Jane Austin

Every single girl I know loves Jane Austin. . .Recently I have been putting some thought into why. Mainly, this thought has been brought on by my fear of leaving the house and having yet another disaster to add to my growing list but that was the last blog and I digress. So, staying in has led to the renting of a lot of movies. The movie renting fit has also been brought on somewhat by one of my favorite Vegas discoveries, the DVD rental vending machine.

My two favorites by far of the very long string of movies I have rented lately both involve Jane Austin. The first is a remake of the many times made Pride and Prejudice. The second is the Lake House which references and somewhat depends upon Jane Austin's last book Persuasion. I could list on the books by Jane Austin but for simplicity sake we will focus on these two.

The first thing we love about these books is that they have heroines not wimpy women waiting for their prince charming. The characters do not sit idly by waiting for their "prince to come" like in a fairy tale. They are not simple and often they take great risks and pass up the easy answer of just any man being enough. They are willing to accept a life of less luxury and great solitude rather than settle.

The second thing we love is the lack of apology these characters have about who they are. The woman we all wish we had the strength to be is Elizabeth Bennett, who is bright, dignified and kind. She is the type of woman we want to be and hope to be on our best days. We cheer on her bravery and her bookishness. She is also human and makes mistakes but is strong enough to own up to those mistakes and correct them.

Ann, the heroine of Persuasion, also fights for what she wants. She holds out hope of a better tomorrow and sees beyond the material possessions to fall in love with someone that is a true soul mate. She waits years for him.

These women are unyielding and uncompromising. They fight hard despite having all the odds against them and somehow after all the heart ache come out on top.

I will admit the last thing we love. . .is the idea of the clothes and dresses of the era. As much as I love a nice pair of pants, as do most modern women, I can't resist the idea of fancy ball gowns and white gloves.

2006-10-02T20:05:00.000-04:00

DISASTER GIRL strikes again!

You know your penchant for disastrous days is getting serious when other people start to notice. I have in the past been known to get myself into ridiculous situations but never have they come in such a string as they have since I moved to Las Vegas. . .It is sooooo bad that my otherwise wonderful and kind brother in law has decided to give me an anti-super hero/super villain type nickname, "Disaster Girl".

I admit it is kinda catchy. . .and part of me wants to start designing the outfit to go with the "scary and damaged" persona of Disaster Girl. The other part of me just wants to stick with my "Clark Kent" like alter ego and hope that the long string of bad luck will pass.

The string of bad luck started as I was moving out here. The events that have caused the nickname are the following:

1) Emergency Room Visit in Dallas halfway through my cross country drive which was prompted by getting sick all over myself and my car.

2) A flat tire the morning after the emergency room visit which added insult to injury of riding in a car that smelled so bad that even the Bush administration would have thought twice about forcing Guantanamo detainees to ride in it.

3) The "Great Exploding Soda" incident of 2006 - I didn't know a 12 pack of soda would explode if left in a hot car in August in Nevada. . .but then before it happened to me I guess I hadn't given it much thought.

4) My car breaking down on Las Vegas Blvd because of a leak in the fuel line. (I admit I am a little lucky in that the fuel line leak didn't cause anything to catch fire).

5) My sister's dog decided to eat a disposable razor while I was dog sitting. By the way the dog's prognosis is really good but I don't know if or when I will ever feel safe around small children or animals again. I may not even allow myself to visit my nephew again until I can work up a better track record.

So short of setting up Bob's barricades with flashing orange lights around me so as to at least keep other innocent people/animals in the general public safe. . . since bad things are supposed to happen in threes the only thing I can really do is hold my breath and wait for #6.

I also really wonder if there is a higher power in the universe if all this bad luck is simply trying to get through to me that I really can't do it alone. I admit that usually I try to act more like Super Girl than a mere mortal but really is all this punishment really necessary.

Normally, I am reminded I am mortal when I get sick and really wish there were someone around to take care of me. . .I really don't need a string a bad luck to reinforce the point. But just in case. . .Point Taken. . .I solemnly swear I will make a re-newed effort to let other people into my life and to try to accept help more readily.

2006-09-16T00:05:00.000-04:00

The DANGER of Being Single Too Long

So lately all of my single guy friends are dating and or looking for younger women. And suddenly I realized that for many years I was the younger woman since I used to date older men. Now I am that almost 30 women that the type of men I am friends with now and the type of men I used to date are dating the younger women.

Even my most reasonable guy friends are dating these younger women because they "aren't jaded" or skeptical. Reflecting on these phrases makes me realize that one of the larger dangers of being single as long as I and many of my female friends have is that your bound to have been disappointed enough times that you are a little "jaded" and "skeptical." It becomes harder and harder to turn off that inner voice that says "Is this guy for real?"

Since arriving in Vegas I have been on dates with two different guys and both went pretty well. But I couldn't turn off that skeptical voice that kept saying "What is wrong with this one?" or "When will the other shoe fall?" I confess I am skeptical and jaded but I also argue that I am worth it. If someone gets past the first wall I still let go. Sometimes I just need them to show me that they really want to be there and they are willing to take a chance.

2006-09-07T00:57:00.000-04:00

Somethings are Over-Rated

So here I am now an official resident of the legendary LAS VEGAS. . .a huge, exciting city and I have never been so over worked and unfun in my life. I know some of this initial rush of my new career is destined to eventually settle down and become more routine but somehow it is even more frustrating to be in this city with so much to do and have no time to do any of it.

I had forgotten how hard it is to be the clueless new kid. Yes, it is exciting to start fresh but it is also scary, frustrating, tiring and just plain lonely at times. I miss sleepy little Tallahassee and all its green charm. I miss my friends. I miss being a short car trip from Mom and Dad.

It was much better to be a BIG fish in a little pond than now being a tiny fish in a HUGE pond.

2006-07-25T13:01:00.000-04:00

Tired of Calling My Mommy

Ok, so I admit it I am a Mommy's girl but then again so are my two sisters. My Dad don't get me wrong is great but is generally sort of quiet and seems to just want to stay out of the way. So, here I am in the post huge project blah's with a summer cold and a billion things to do.

So, instead of working on packing, prepping for my new job, making a list of the things I need to do pre-graduation celebration I called my Mom since I wasn't feeling well and went to bed early. Mom as always was a huge comfort . . .But as with all life' little hickups it would have been nice to have someone who was just there for me. So as much as I complain about everyone all the sudden pushing on me to find someone. OK not just "someone." I want to find the right someone.

Until then I guess I will just have to keep calling my Mom on the happy and tough days to have someone to share them with.

2006-07-18T14:31:00.000-04:00

I'm Everyone's Favorite Project

So now that both of my sisters have gotten married and are now either mommy or mommy to be, all the attention seems to be on me. I have in the last several years gotten off pretty easy with my Mom protecting me from my relatives prying question, "So when are you going to get married?" Granted, her protection of me was all brought on by the seemingly endless onslaught of "So when are you going to get married?" questions at my sisters wedding. At one of the two events I actually counted and was asked 87 times. . .Really. But apparently now that I am finally finishing up school the gloves are off.

In the past couple of weeks I have had a new round of intrusions from family members including an unexpected intrusion by one of my sisters. Who not so politely explained to me. . ."Well no one is perfect J. . .you aren't perfect. So what if "insert guy's name here" wasn't perfect. You can't be single for ever." Really? Is there a law against it? I am not saying that is what I want but I also don't want to marry the first person who wants to marry me. If I did I am sure I could find some nice illegal immigrant to marry.

My "cool" grandmother also out of the blue sent me an email asking if she could give me email address to some random guy who came into her work who mentioned he would be moving to Las Vegas in December. Then when I saw her during my visit to see "Peanut", she spent the whole time giving me the hard sell on this guy! Really I don't have a hard time getting a date. . .I am just picky about who I let stick around.

Oh well . . . I guess my day of reckoning with my family's obsession with getting me happily married off has been coming for a while at least I was able to put it off while I got my degree.

2006-07-11T09:53:00.000-04:00

OK, so I have been a bad blogger. . .

I know the whole point of a blog is to write on it and keep it up. . .and I have not done that lately. I swear if you knew what all I have been doing lately to try to ensure my move to Vegas was smooth and successful you would understand and forgive me. Also so many great and monumental things have happened to me out in the real world it is amazing I have even managed to focus on my move and graduation.

OK. . .life developments. . .

1) I am now an aunt of an 8lb 10 oz. bouncing baby boy affectionately nicknamed "Peanut." I know a cruel thing to do to a kid but I swear that: 1) I didn't start it, 2) it was started innocently enough when "Peanut" was still peanut sized and now it has stuck 3) As his aunt I will try not to call him by his embarrassing nickname in front of his friends . . .when he is old enough to actually have friends. However, until then Peanut will probably mostly remain Peanut to me. . .Especially since his Mommy and Daddy picked a name that specifically could not be shortened and his real name doesn't exactly trip off the tongue and seems a bit big for such a little guy.

(This also somewhat explains the reason the blog has been soooooo . . . quiet. Being a new aunt and my oohhhh so cute nephew necessitated two trips to Orlando in the last month and a few shortly before he came to see my cute round little sister and help her prepare her nursery for Peanut's big arrival.)

2) My other sister (no the same sister isn't pulling a Britney Spears) is going to make me an aunt again in February. First they got married within six months of each other, despite being 6 years apart in age, and now they are having babies within 7 months of each other. Really, they need to be more considerate in planning their life events. . .I know these are great joyous occasions and all but come on give a girl's budget time to recover from one round of present buying before you start the next round. My younger sister in revenge for the aforementioned nickname has already nicknamed Peanut's new cousin "Bean." My guess is that both cousins will eventually need therapy once the are actually old enough to know what angst is and for that (and a myriad of other reasons which may appear in a later blog) I am happy to be their Auntie and not their Mommy.

3) After years. . . .Yes, I really mean years of college (10+ to be exact). I am officially graduating for the last time with my PhD. Yikes! Like I wasn't scary enough to men as a normal single girl now I have to tote around the title. So now I am a little torn do I go by Dr. Singleton or just continue to hide my super identity as a blogger? I think so that my students don't have too much fun at my expense I will just continue to go by "J" or Dr. "insert real last name here." Yes, I will now be responsible for warping the minds of numerous graduate students for years to come. . .

Well, the countdown to Vegas Begins! The graduation announcements will soon be sent. I guess this will be the biggest experiment yet for me. . .Move smallish town East Coast girl to big Southwestern city and see what happens.

2006-05-14T23:09:00.000-04:00

The Funny Thing About Relationships

The thing I find oddest about relationships is all the things we don't say about them. Often we look at the relationship of our friends, family, and loved ones and know from the outside if they are good, bad, disfunctional, limping along, or a disaster waiting to happen. From the outside we often see the things that are wrong that the people in them are too close to see.

We have all been to weddings we knew were a bad idea. Yet we never say anything. We suspect . . .We talk. . .We worry . . .But we don't speak. We see the cracks but fear alienating those we love. BUT WHY?? Wouldn't we be better friends/relatives ect. If we spoke up about our concerns in the hope they might help. No because we don't want to meddle.

So what do we do. . .We hope they know/see something we don't. I guess I am right now hoping for the best in several situations. I guess all I can do is hope I am wrong.