Why do they call them "Happy" Holidays?

So when did the holidays become torture the single people days? Even the movie Bridget Jones Diary has noted the traditional flogging that "singletons" must endure during the holiday season. Like it isn't bad enough to be alone at "special" times a year when the whole world is coupled up. . .why do my relatives insist upon rubbing it in and asking questions there are clearly no good answers to. Yes, I have read the advice on how to deal with these situations . . .but family politics only allow for so much lattitude.

My grandmother (who admittedly is senile) spent the entire weekend asking me the dreaded question "SO when are you going to get married?" Like I all that getting married involves is me picking some mysterious date. Let's ignore the fact that I haven't met anyone who I want to spend the rest of my life with or if I have I don't know it. Let's also ignore the fact that my Grandmother has been divorced twice, once from a man who drinks too much and was abusive to her. Let's also ignore the fact that over half of the marriages in this country end in divorce and perhaps if everyone was a little bit more thoughtful about this decision then we might be able to improve that number a little. In other words lets just ignore the reality of the situation all together. I am getting married June 2007. . .why not?

I am always up for ridiculous conversations with no definitive answer so I always answer the same way. . ."I am not going to get married. I am going to stay young and single and buy a BMW." Ok, so it is slightly unrealistic but it usually reminds people how silly the whole exchange is. . .but not my Grandmother, who has denial abilities up there with Vice President Cheney and President George W. Bush, soldiers on undetered by my flip response. She lectures me that I need to get serious about finding someone. . .AGGGGHHHH!!! After all I am not getting any younger.

I then went into the kitchen like any sane rational person and consoled myself with a piece of pumkin pie and the idea that someday I could afford to fly my parents out to visit me and then I wouldn't have to be subjected to my grandmother. At least years of this abuse have made me thick skinned enough to not allow her to not make me cry anymore.