The Folly of Rewarding X While Hoping for Y

There is an economic theory that basically says we often don't get what we want from people because we reward X behavior when what we really want is Y. For example say you want high quality widgets. . .But what you pay your worker for is simply the number of widgets not the quality. So you basically get lots of poorly made widgets.

I have been giving this theory a great deal of thought lately. . .And have decided that perhaps this is what I have been doing in my dating life. I want a relationship with a stable rational individual (lets call this Y) but I have often settled for and rewarded something less (e.g. a relationship with someone who is more focused on achieving a high score on play station than on dating me). At the time I have fed myself all sorts of lines about well. . .Yes, but they are really smart and I have hobbies too, but eventually I come to realize my hopes of Y with this person were really unwise. So unlike so many other people. . .Who are dishonest about their own shortcomings (yes I do know I have shortcomings but that is a topic for a different blog). . .I have been dishonest with myself about the shortcomings of my potential partners and have largely only ended up with X (what I didn't want). So, I am trying an experiment . . .Being brutally honest and critical (quietly and to myself of course, there is no need to be cruel) of those I go out with. I suspect that at least being severely honest about the other person might be slightly more productive than the oblivious approach . . .Or perhaps I am still over reacting to my last foolishly undertaken relationship. . .time will tell.