Just Buy a F****** Couch!

NPR has this great weekly radio show called This American Life that every week covers a different topic and it has become something of an obsession of mine. It just so happens this week the show seems particularly topical since the same debate also seems to have been entered into by Jen Schefft of both the Bachelor and Bachelorette fame.

Basically, the story on This American Life focuses on a confirmed bachelor who after over 18 years of searching for the perfect couch has yet to commit. This couch has become somewhat of a methaphor for the rest of this guy's life with his refusal to settle becoming somewhat of a centerpiece.

It has annoyed his friends, family, and a string of girlfriends. One angry fight between this very discerning gentleman and a girlfriend ended with her telling him to "just buy a F****** couch!" He like many picky people is often urged just to settle but he persists in his quest for the perfect couch. This modern Don Quixote continues to tilt at windmills. He asks himself "Do I hold out for one that really knocks me out or do I just settle for something that I can live with or really doesn't know me out?" It has become the thing that causes him more concern and dismay than anything in his life. It is his quest.

Jen Scheff also is coming out on the side of being picky with her new book, Better Single than Sorry. (No, I haven't read it but if some kind publisher is willing to send me a copy I might.) She basically makes the point that it is better to understand what you can and can't live with than to accept less than what you want. I understand this really well. You head tells you that someone is really nice and stable and will make a good husband. You know that they will try to make you happy but you know in your gut it just isn't your ideal.

Jen Scheff has been somewhat demonized by single men who saw her as unable to be satisfied. She had and left the "Bachelor" after having beaten out a gaggle of other single, beautiful, and determined women. She then went on to have a gaggle of single, handsome, and determined men compete over her only to reject them all. While, I would never allow myself to get into the situations that she found herself in. . .I really do feel for her since among my friends and family as an overly picky perfectionist.

These two very different stories are emblematic of one side of a debate that now rages between me and many of my single friends. Do we settle for something less than perfect or do we just simply get on with it? Do we seek perfection or do we settle for good rather than great? Part of everyone wants both. We want the perfection but we also want the resolution. It is just a matter of if you can live with OK or will you, like many people, think you can settle and ultimately end up unhappy? If you could be certain that OK would be enough then we would go ahead and buy the couch but that little bit of doubt has us still shopping.