The Funny Thing About Relationships
The thing I find oddest about relationships is all the things we don't say about them. Often we look at the relationship of our friends, family, and loved ones and know from the outside if they are good, bad, disfunctional, limping along, or a disaster waiting to happen. From the outside we often see the things that are wrong that the people in them are too close to see.
We have all been to weddings we knew were a bad idea. Yet we never say anything. We suspect . . .We talk. . .We worry . . .But we don't speak. We see the cracks but fear alienating those we love. BUT WHY?? Wouldn't we be better friends/relatives ect. If we spoke up about our concerns in the hope they might help. No because we don't want to meddle.
So what do we do. . .We hope they know/see something we don't. I guess I am right now hoping for the best in several situations. I guess all I can do is hope I am wrong.
posted by chronic singleton @ 11:09 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
[Sigh!]I have several thoughts on why we don't say more, as someone who you know for a fact does say more to people who will take it as real advice and not "I want you to be lonely like me so we can hang out more" drivel.
1.) Deep down, everyone wants their friends to be happy first and foremost. If they seem really happy to be in the relationship, why would we want to step all over that? If they are, on the other hand, unsure - you want to bring them to a place that they can be sure, one way or the other.
2.) Sometimes, we love the person too much to hurt them with the awful truths that we see SO clearly about their relationship.
3.) Sometimes we're just afraid to be wrong. What if the questionable relationship actually works for the people involved? So what if one's not nice to the other, or if they have nothing in common, or both?
I think our consensus feeling is something along the lines of "Who made me judge, jury, and executioner of ___'s relationship?" (funny coming from me, isn't it?) -or- "___ is a grown-up and he/she needs to take responsibility for his/her own decisions, questionable as they may be."
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