Why you shouldn't take City Girls fishing or bowling

Ok, so I finally have to admit it. I am a city girl. I keep trying to tell myself I am not but I am. I do love the outdoors. But mostly I love the outdoors as a contrast to the rest of my life which is filled with computers, books, TVs, and fluorescent lighting. My general problem as a "city girl" or at least a "suburb girl" is that I generally lack the knowledge (despite being a Girl Scout for many of my formative years) to deal with some of the particular problems of outdoor settings. . .at least to preplan dealing with them without warning.

This last summer I had a disastrous date when invited to go fishing. I was initially excited to go. I love to be outdoors and spending time on the water and learning to do new things so it seemed like a great idea. But as my friend "H" recently declared I am too pretty for camping. I am not too pretty for camping but I am too pretty for hanging my half naked body off the side of a boat to go pee. Some things are just not things I need to experience to know I won't like them and this is one of those things.

I mistakenly had worn a one piece bathing suit thinking this was an athletic activity and therefore a bikini was inappropriate turns out a one piece even less appropriate since it would then involve getting all naked or wetting my pants in order to go to the bathroom. After seeing bait fish after bait fish pulled out of the water bit in half by a shark I also was clearly not jumping into the water to relieve my strained bladder . . .so I ended up being taken back to the dock to go. This was not a popular idea with said date/boat driver but he gave in after seeing the pain on my face. We never went out again. . .I can't say I am upset.

The bowling thing while less objectionable is still a serious problem for me . . .I hate it. The rented shoes with someone else's foot sweat, the rolling of large objects down a wooden lane where the result seems almost more dependent on brute force than skill, and being surrounded by red-necks who this is their idea of a "big" night out. I was dragged bowling last night. . .it was painful and not any fun despite plenty of beer. I came home feeling ridiculed for performing bad, soar from hurling a heavy object, head aching from all the cigarette smoke I inhaled and all the poorly constructed sentence I heard uttered, and annoyed that I should be expected to participate. . .Bowling=BAD DATE.