The Bravest Thing I've Ever Done is To Run Away and Hide . . .

As my readers know a break-up/meltdown was coming for quite sometime here. . . I finally did it. The emotional display was embarrassing and I have never had anyone before offer to "change" just to keep me around but I did it. Nor since high school have I had a boyfriend cry in front of me openly after being dumped. Now I know how guys feel . . . Mostly I chalked this display up to genuine loneliness on his part. I felt bad but I knew it was the right decision for me. . .And sometime looking out for yourself it the only thing you can do.

I do have to admit I miss all the attention. . . And the dogs but in general I feel as though a weight has been lifted.

Vegas on My Own Terms

So I have just returned from Las Vegas . . .not to worry gentle reader I did not marry "E." I went for a job interview.

I was struck by what an odd place Vegas really is . . .it is both magnificent and horrible in one neon lit moment. There is the grace and elegance of the really high priced and classy casinos, like the Bellagio and the Venetian, and restaurants of any and all types.

The Casinos - These high temples to wealth and capitalism are both the best and the worst of our culture. The best in that they represent a blending of cultures much like our own country and draw on art and beauty to weave a spell on you. The worst in that they are buildings only greed and excessive money could have built. The lobbies of the buildings transport you to places that only exist in Vegas and are just as over the top as a Disney theme park without the cartoonish and surreal alternative to reality. These places are real. They hold real art and gardens of floral arrangements. The use both technology and wealth to dazzle and impress. Everyone is welcome to come and see these wonders and the rich mix with the poor. The spectacle is democratic.

There is also the seedy and sad fact that everywhere and I do mean everywhere from convenient stores to the airport there are gambling machines. You see people who are wrung out from having blown their life savings on gambling which usually is fueled by alcoholism. Gambling and other addictions are apparent and are in plain sight. In almost any other city such things are hidden in back alleys or under more convincing facades.

The contrasts of the city are striking and make you both like and hate the place in an instant.