Finally Ready to Let go of the Bad Boys

Something funny has happened to me since passing through the rather odd portal into my seeming adulthood . . .I am all the sudden mostly immune to scoundrels. I say mostly because if the right scoundrel came along I still might get weak at the knees and find myself hopelessly attracted.

Since moving to Vegas I have done very little dating. Very little especially for me who usually always has something, the beginning of something, or the remains of something going on relationship wise. I decided not that long after arriving here I was going to go through something like relationship detox. . .cold turkey and spend a little time simply figuring out what it was that I wanted.

My last major relationship played out a lot like the relationship in the movie Shopgirl where a much older man swept me off my feet and spoiled me rotten only to leave me feeling as if there were certain lines I couldn't cross, certain things I couldn't say and something I could never be for him. So in the end I made my choice and I walked away. Only to fall immediately into lust. . .with a scoundrel that promised much and delivered little and then just vanished. Then for a while I became the scoundrel. . . never quite all there and never quite sure why. . .I just couldn't be. . .it just wasn't right and never could be.

So for a little while I have sat in solitude reading books, watching movies, buying my own flowers and just thinking. . .Thinking about what I really wanted. I have come to realize scoundrels might be fun and may know all the right things to do but they will never be the guy that holds you hand when you're scared and picks you up off the floor when you can't do that for yourself. So I think my time for scoundrel men has passed. It is time to date nice guys. Men that basically fit the mold of my older sister's husband . . .they may not make other women swoon with envy but they will be there to hold your hand when you need it.

I will post more about said mystery "nice" guy, as far as I can tell in my next post.

nihilism, the Movies and the Shallow World that is Las Vegas

I have now lived in Las Vegas for several months and it still a little bit like having wandered onto a movie set. But then again I think much of life is feels this way from time to time. The only difference is that in Las Vegas no one tries to get beyond this facade. It is so much more about the exterior here than what is inside. In Nevada this week we are awaiting preparing to vote for our next set of elected representatives and new laws to govern the state.

The races here have been nasty and seedy but that is almost par for the course anywhere. The most shocking thing is the ability of powerful and monied interests, aka the casinos, to influence the ballot options that have to do with even the most common sense items. The worst and most obvious example is the two initiatives put forth on smoking. The first one, question 4, is a facade much like the rest of Vegas. It pretends to change the law to eliminate smoking in some public areas but it actually doesn't do anything. It doesn't even remove smoking from grocery and convenience stores. The second initiative, Question 5, was put forth by the American Heart Association and the American Lund Association, is almost surely doomed but would actually enact desperately needed changes in Nevada. It would remove smoking from restaurants, grocery stores, and any other public space that wasn't a gaming area. However, it will loose because those pushing the fake anti-smoking initiative have claimed it is bad for business. . .Heaven forbid that we should loose money just to prevent a little cancer, suffering and death.

Sorry guys just not feeling my usually funny single self these days. . .But I promise the next blog will be about flirting or kissing the wrong man. . .just needed to vent a little tonight.